Leaving a spouse behind
Years ago, my dad had to leave his family to work in a town 300 miles away from our home. Mom
was left with the responsibility of raising eight children. Thankfully, my older brother was twelve years old and was able
to help with gathering wood and other chores around the house. Also, my older sister was able to help with cleaning and looking
after us younger kids. But it was not easy for her and we would often see or hear her crying. Those were joyful moments when
he was able to come home for a weekend.
The death of a spouse is one of the
more traumatic experiences that a person can endure, especially in mid-life. My grandfather, on my father's side, passed
away when he was in his early thirties. My grandmother was left to raise seven children. Those were difficult days as there
was very little money to support the family. She worked hard, in her vegetable garden, to grow vegetables that would see them
through the winter. Also she picked wild blueberries, marsh berries, and other berries that were available. She raised sheep,
goats, chicken and ducks. She was able to acquire fresh fish and caplin. Also there was salmon, trout and mussels. The cellar
was usually full and moose meat was a staple in her home. There was no reason to be hungry. She was
both mother and father to her family. I recall her tarring the roof of her two story house when she was in her early eighties.
She survived but she missed my grandfather and she never re-married.
Today,
I listened to a Mexican couple talk about their life and his having to leave for the United State to work in the fields. They
had been married for only six months and she was four months pregnant. He would be gone for months and there was a possibility
that he would not be able to return to Mexico. She said that her heart was burdened.
